I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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