Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i out mim tonsoeep
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
