mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
