GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
