Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize