I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
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Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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