I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
