pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you would pick up someone in the library
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
