I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
