Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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