just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize