Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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