what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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