Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
