so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize