physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
