yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
someone owes me an orgasm
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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