I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
