I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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