girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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