i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
