i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
