someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
