there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
