she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
