I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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