There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
