I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I deserve this hangover.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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