I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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