sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
