This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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