you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
