i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
