Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
