so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
