Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
