So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
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I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
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It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
do nipples grow back?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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