Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
