bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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