this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
