Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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