I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize