The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
