I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
