tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This house was built for laser tag.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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