I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
