whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
