There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
