I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
