'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They took my balls.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
