I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
