Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
