Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
