the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
