Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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