my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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