So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
