Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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