dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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