I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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