Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
