Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
