don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
