I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
