His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
