Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
