We're facebook friends in real life
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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